Be careful not to confuse an IUD with an IED. It could be really devastating if you do.

Of course, the effect would be the same either way...right?

Use the Word "Horticulture" in a Sentence

"You can lead a whore to culture but can't make her think." -- Dorothy Parker

Sub Urban Planning

Is a sub urban planner a lower form of life that an urban planner? Like a sub-human or something?

Dweek?

Suppose you have translation software on your computer. Suppose it supported translating Pig Latin to and from American (English). Suppose you accidentally tried to translate American into American from Pig Latin. What would these words be?

Wunder
Rar
Tovers
Wany
Whalf
Lrep
Rast
Rhoo
Lin
Loverp
Punder
Dot, Devery and Dweek
Dmon, Dsun, Dfri, Dwednes, Dtues, Dsatur and Dthurs

Got it?
Ko!

How Does That Go?

Employees who won't take inventory don't count.

Death Penalty

If I were in 'the chair' and you asked me, "Do you have any last words?" Would I be lying if I said, "No"?

My Evil Twin

He's so much like me, he even has a twin like me. He puts the 'dual' in 'individual!'

Portmanteaus

Many people worry about the state of edutainment; I'm more concerned with the current state of meducation.

Whirled Peas

Like every year, I asked Santa for World Peace.

This year I got it, but...

It says, "some assembly required."

And none of the instructions are in English....